So… a “shift in the light” can also mean a shift in the purpose of this blog, right?
I currently have three draft posts (about BroadwayCon, camping, and Grandma’s funeral) plus quite a few other events that definitely merit a post of their own (Hanson Day, my 100th touring or Broadway show, Amy Grant Alaska Cruise meaning I have now been to all 50 states), but for whatever reason I haven’t felt like writing lately. I may still get around to them eventually…
But in the meantime, I have another idea.
Sing every song in the soprano and mezzo volumes of The Singer’s Musical Theatre Anthology.
Twelve volumes (six soprano, six mezzo).
Over four hundred songs.
Basically my only requirement for marking a song “complete” will be to get through it with the recorded accompaniment and post it on Youtube. But if we want to make things fancy later, I can set up voting so you can choose songs I should work on more. Maybe you think the song suits me particularly well (or doesn’t suit me at all and want me to take on the challenge) or it’s just a song you’d like to see in a more polished video. In any case, lots of possibilities. I haven’t set a timeline for myself yet either, but that could potentially be another way to make this interesting.
I wasn’t planning on going back to BroadwayCon this year. But literally the first face I saw when I clicked on “Special Guests” was Kelli O’Hara. So not only did I change my mind, I bought a Gold Pass. (More than double the price, but perks include three guaranteed autograph and photobooth sessions. If I might have the chance to meet Kelli again, I’m not going to leave it up to the lottery system!)
When the schedule of autograph and photobooth sessions was first released, she was not included. But then one morning in Jamaica I checked my email when I woke up and found: “The Audience Rewards Autograph and Photograph Area schedule is now complete! … Just yesterday we added sessions with Kelli O’Hara, Carolee Carmello, and Joel Grey!” Commence squealing with delight and hoping I didn’t wake my roommate up! (I didn’t.)
So I was all set to meet Kelli again. YAY! As far as I was concerned, anything else that happened on the trip would be a bonus.
And three Broadway shows is a fantastic bonus! Especially when two of them are the most-talked-about new shows on Broadway! (This post is about those three shows. BroadwayCon will be in the next post.)
Wednesday. Great Comet was certainly a unique experience. I knew it would be, considering the theatre layout all but eliminates the barrier between performers and audience. As the show began unfolding, I sat there thinking, “I’m not sure if I like this…” Maybe it was the unusual music, or the intense use of strobe lights, or how the characters kept narrating for themselves in both first and third person. Or all of the above?
Then Denée Benton as Natasha sang “No One Else” and lamps descended from the ceiling all over the theatre like stars and I was enchanted. And then Josh Groban as Pierre sang “Dust and Ashes” and the lyrics pierced my soul. When the ensemble lined up across the mezzanine to join in, I was completely swept away. Am I ready to wake up?
SCENE: IMPERIAL THEATRE STAGE DOOR
(A small crowd has gathered following a performance of Great Comet. Cheers resound as star JOSH GROBAN emerges. MARTHA has been a fan for 15 years and has never met him.)
MARTHA: Thank you so much, you were incredible! “Dust and Ashes” made me cry.
JOSH (genuine and humorously self-depracating): I’m sorry!
MARTHA: No, in a good way!
JOSH: Oh, okay.
(JOSH smiles at MARTHA. She goes weak and dies a little inside.)
Thursday. The main reason I bought a ticket to Waitress was to see Jessie Mueller sing “She Used To Be Mine.” And oh boy did it live up to expectations. (I didn’t cry, but I don’t think I breathed either.) What I did NOT expect was how hilarious Christopher Fitzgerald was as Ogie! We’re talking fits of hysterical laughter here.
Audience Rewards set up some exclusive post-show Q&A sessions around BroadwayCon, and one of them just happened to be for this performance! So I got to attend a Q&A with Caitlin Houlahan, who played Dawn. I also got to tell her afterwards that I recognized her because I’d seen the tour of Bridges of Madison County in two different cities.
This was the only show that I went into knowing any of the music. The other song besides “She Used To Be Mine” that I was most looking forward to was Dawn’s “When He Sees Me.” Because some of those lyrics are basically straight out of my own head but buried so deep I didn’t know they were there.
What if he opens up a door and I can’t close it? What happens then?
Sunday. I’d been looking forward to Dear Evan Hansen ever since they promoted it at BroadwayCon last year. (Plus it’s Pasek and Paul. Dogfight is some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard.) My anticipation only grew when the Hamilton panelists were asked what current Broadway show they most wanted to see and almost everyone said this one!
The first thing that struck me was the scrolling social media integrated into the set design. There were times it got so overwhelming I had to physically look away. (Maybe that’s something we all need to do. Stop “connecting” and start connecting!)
Knowing only a basic plot summary, I went in fully expecting to cry. And I did. The key change in “Waving Through a Window.” A delayed reaction more than halfway through “You Will Be Found” that sent me into intermission still sobbing. A gasp at the realization of how Evan broke his arm. Evan’s speech in the finale (that I really wanted to be on the cast recording but am kind of glad it’s not because it might give things away) that pulled all my triggers so I was still crying by the time I joined the crowd at the stage door. And lots more, but those are the moments that stood out the most.
I am so thankful that the cast recording was released yesterday. Please listen to it! The whole album is just under an hour long, but if you only have time for one or two songs, start with “You Will Be Found” or “Waving Through a Window.” That will say more than I ever could.
When your favorite band in the entire world hosts an annual fan club event in a tropical paradise, eventually you decide you have to go. Back To The Island!
So I ended up at the Jewel Paradise Cove Resort in Runaway Bay, Jamaica for a few glorious days in January 2017.
Rather than turn this post into “this is what happened” and “this is how I felt about it,” I’ll present it instead as a collection of moments that stood out to me. The full schedule of awesomeness is included at the end of the post. And I am so thankful for all of the moments, whether or not they are mentioned here.
The one thing that surprised me most about Jamaicans? They really say, “Yah man!” I thought it was a stereotype. But it’s actually what they say instead of yes/yeah/etc, and it sounds so natural. (Why doesn’t Sebastian say it at all in The Little Mermaid?)
Flying to another country for the first time was incredibly nerve-wracking. It got so bad the night before that I found myself thinking, “WHY did I decide to do this???” Seriously, yall, I was scared. But I did it. And the first thing my roommate and I did after we got settled in? Eat dinner while watching the sunset over the ocean, listening to the waves crash on the rocks right below us.
Lying in a hammock next to the ocean is one of the most relaxing feelings in the world.
And one of the most alive feelings in the world? Standing on a rock with rapids swirling around your feet as you climb a waterfall. I’m so glad I signed up for the extra excursion to Dunn’s River Falls!
The weirdest part of snorkeling was jumping off the side of the boat. The hardest part of snorkeling was remembering to breathe through the tube and not through my nose. The coolest part of snorkeling was seeing Dory on the reef (probably not really, but they were bright blue fish that were close enough for me).
A glass-bottom boat ride is a fantastic way to wake up in the morning. And oh my goodness that water was such a gorgeous color!
I’m limiting myself to one moment from each solo concert so this post doesn’t get too long (because honestly, getting the solo concerts at all IS a standout moment).
I’d noticed a couple standing near me before Isaac’s concert started. Then, while he was playing “More Than Anything,” people started applauding in the middle of the song. I looked around… and saw the guy holding a little black ring box! I’d heard stories about concert proposals before, but this was my first time witnessing one and it happened literally right next to me.
With all the member songs in the mix I knew setlist possibilities were endless, but Taylor wins the prize for playing a song it hadn’t even occurred to me to hope for. A song that was originally leaked online when they were recording demos for Underneath. A song that was later included on a CD of demos when they released their documentary Strong Enough to Break on DVD. A song that resonates profoundly with anyone who has ever struggled with depression. As soon as my brain registered that he was actually playing “Breaktown” I lost it.
I am a Zac girl, and Zac’s entire set only reinforced that. Basically everything he said resonated with me and made me love him a little bit more. Like how “Siren Call” is about sinking into deep depression and the only way to pull yourself out is to deliberately focus on other people instead of yourself (literally what I did). And how he tends to write songs either about life lessons or about “nothing at all.” He also played the highest percentage of songs I’d never seen live before, including both the songs I thought would be really cool to hear on a beach. Bonus: that KILLER FALSETTO!
Standout moment of Hanson concert #1 began when Isaac started talking about the Albertane Tour (their first big tour back in 1998) and it sounded like they would play “Ever Lonely” next (one of my favorites on the Live From Albertane album, that I didn’t remember seeing live before). But tropical weather and guitars don’t get along very well, so Isaac had to take a break for tuning… and Zac launched into a “Tunin’ On The Beach” jam session that reduced me to fits of hysterical laughter! (It might have been partly the fact that I’d gotten up at 5:30 that morning and the concert didn’t even start until 10:00, but I’d say most of it was Zac…) And then they did play “Ever Lonely” which made the moment even better. Plus “Tunin’ On The Beach” made a return appearance before the concert’s finale of “I Believe in a Thing Called Love” which proves that Zac is a freaking rockstar.
There were a few standout moments of concert #2. One was Taylor messing up the words to “Sure About It” and then all three of them making jokes about it. Another was hearing “Penny and me like to gaze at starry skies” while gazing at a starry sky. It was also amazing to witness their versatility switching from hard core rock & roll the night before to acoustic! Bonus: since most of the concert was acoustic, I had a much better view of Zac because he wasn’t hidden behind his drums.
Pretty much the entirety of concert #3 was a standout moment because the setlist theme was members only (they release a new fan club EP every year, which include some of their best songs that are rarely performed live). But if I had to choose, the highlight for me was experiencing “Feeling Alive” immediately followed by “Sound of Light.” It was magical. And it broke me. Sobbing uncontrollably, tears pouring down my face, gasping for breath. And I felt free.
According to hanson.net FAQs, “The Hanson.net Reporter is a member of Hanson.net chosen to report every aspect of the show for Hanson.net. The reporter gets to interview HANSON (3 – 7 questions), take the Meet & Greet pictures before the show and take photos during the show with their photo pass.”
Nine years ago today, I was that reporter.
This is the report I submitted to hanson.net (with a few photos added, although none from the concert itself because I’m not allowed to post those). Some of it only makes sense to fellow Hanson fans since, after all, I wrote it for the fan club. But I wanted to share it because sometimes things happen that just can’t be coincidence. Like interviewing your favorite band in the entire world less than a month after starting treatment for depression. God definitely did that on purpose!
Warning: it’s long. I wanted to capture as much of the experience as possible and actually review the concert, not just recap the interview like a lot of other reporters seemed to do.
A short introduction: I’m a student at Vanderbilt University in Nashville, TN. When I found out that Hanson would be playing in my hometown the day after my twenty-first birthday, I knew there was no way I could miss out, especially when my sister Monica and I hadn’t been to a Hanson concert together since the This Time Around Tour. I was so shocked when I got the reporter email (about five minutes after it was sent, I’d been checking so often) that I could barely dial my home phone number. When Monica heard the news, she immediately checked her email too and found that she’d been given a meet and greet. How’s that for a birthday celebration?
Fast forward to Saturday afternoon. The Walk began when the guys emerged from La Zona Rosa around 3:20. After a brief explanation of what we were about to do and why, we set off. There’s no way I can do the Walk justice in such a short amount of time and space, so I won’t even try. I will say this though: my feet were in such pain that by the middle of the Walk I decided I must buy another pair of TOMS so one more child in Africa can have a pair of shoes and not have to experience that kind of pain anymore, and Taylor’s speech near the end of the Walk was so moving that I felt tears form in my eyes. So inspirational!
I returned to the venue with every intention of buying my TOMS right then, but unfortunately they were out of anything even remotely close to my size. I settled down with the other meet and greeters and a few other people near the gates into the venue, and we passed the time talking about our mutual love of Hanson and various concert experiences. We were interrupted at 4:50 when the guys began their soundcheck, and I spent the next half hour or so listening to them warm up with Great Divide, Got A Hold On Me, Save Me, Blue Sky, Where’s The Love, and Let Love Rule, all the while becoming increasingly excited about the concert that night and scared at the prospect of interviewing the three musicians who have been such an essential part of my life for the past ten years.
Finally, at 6:25, a security guard came to the gate and let us inside. The following fifteen minutes were a blur of smiles, nerves, tears, and jittery anticipation of what we all knew was about to happen. Then at 6:40, we were let into the building… and there they were, smiling graciously and ready to interact with us, however briefly. I stood awkwardly off to one side until it was time for the picture, at which point I quickly snapped two shots of nine smiling faces, and afterwards I returned to the shadows while two girls who had gotten meet and greets through a publisher had their time with the guys. Around 6:50, I believe (since I wasn’t exactly keeping track of time very carefully), the moment I never dreamed would come arrived. A person who I assumed was the head security guy took two pictures of me with the guys. Taylor asked if they could go ahead and sign whatever I had brought, at which point I explained about the scrapbook page and my idea for them to decorate it during the interview (I had traced and colored the Walk logo in one corner and the Hanson logo in another, leaving most of the page blank). I then followed them past the stage and through a door, where we turned left and went into the second dressing room on the right. There was a red couch in the back of the room, which was much squishier than it looked! Isaac sat on the couch next to me, and Zac and Taylor sat in chairs across from us. I introduced myself (rather awkwardly, I must admit… why do I always become awkward when I’m nervous?), and then gave the scrapbook page and sharpies to Zac, who proceeded to spend most of the interview drawing.
Taylor, me, Zac, Isaac
*note* Only things in quotation marks are direct quotes from the guys; everything else is paraphrased from my rapidly scribbled notes and normally fairly accurate memory. And nothing I type seems to adequately capture the flow of conversation or what it actually felt like to be there. Oh well. I’ll do my best.
(M: Martha, I: Isaac, T: Taylor, Z: Zac)
M: When I was 11, I wrote in my journal: “My definition of Hanson is: A trio of incredibly cute boys, one of which is crazy, one of which is sensible, and one of which is in between.”
T: Which one was I, in between or…?
M: No, you were the sensible one; I don’t know what I was thinking…
Now, I’d say that my definition of Hanson is: Three amazing young men who God has sent us to touch our hearts with their beautiful music and inspire us with their passion for life and what they care about.
I, T, Z: Thank you
I: Are we supposed to respond to that?
M: No, that was a lead-in to…
How would you define Hanson?
Z: “Three lucky bastards who…”
T: A band consisting of three individual artists who all bring stuff to the table, as opposed to having one lead person. It’s really “rock and roll in its most basic form.” We believe that “music is about affecting people.”
Z: We’re “crazy enough to think we can actually change the world.” We try to find innovative things that have a lasting effect, and we “dare to dream.”
I: We’re “constant dreamers.”
T: You need to say what you do and do what you say. I’m frustrated with artists who never take advantage of their talent, don’t take control of their career, and are afraid of breaking out of the box. “I feel dead when I’m not asking what’s next.” You need to put everything you have into performance, channel everything in you.
M: If you’re ever in a bad mood before a show, how does that affect your performance? Does being onstage automatically make you feel better?
I: Yes, being onstage definitely helps. You “get inside what you’re really doing.”
Z: It’s like a massage on a really knotted muscle…
M: Oh yeah, it hurts at first but ultimately feels better.
Z: It brings emotion to the surface. By the end, you feel better for it nine times out of ten, and it helps put things in perspective.
T: Music is the ultimate equalizer. Things are balanced and good around you, and it puts things where they’re supposed to be; puts things in perspective. It’s a “celebration of humanity.”
I: It’s like Great Divide – being hopeful about a huge problem, and that’s the point. We need to talk about the future. We “try to solve problems in music, not wallow in them.”
At this point, there was a knock on the dressing room door, and someone came in to get a rolled up poster that was just inside. As if I hadn’t already felt awkward enough. Oh well.
M: How has what Isaac went through changed your view of life?
Z: It puts things in perspective. You can’t wait. He was really lucky.
T: “Thin blood is good blood.”
I: I still have a lot left to do. I accept the reality of the situation but I’m not fatalistic about it. The future is bright – there’s lots of life left and lots of songs left.
Z: In a way, it relates to songs and the Walk – you can’t wait until tomorrow.
I: You know, a blood clot is kind of like AIDS, in that it’s a silent killer, but still, this was a “blessing, not a curse.”
M: There have been a lot of people praying for you.
Z: And that makes a difference.
I: It does mean a lot to know that.
T: We have time for one more question.
M: That’s perfect, there’s only one more I really wanted to ask.
M: We sometimes have to deal with getting laughed at for being fans (which I don’t understand since you’re the BEST EVER, but anyway). If you were in our place, what would you say to someone ridiculing you for liking Hanson?
I: First of all, I wouldn’t get defensive.
Z: Ask, when was the last time you heard their music?
I: If they haven’t heard anything since MMMBop, don’t waste your time.
Z: I’d feel sad for them if they’re basing their opinions on hearsay and “popular culture bullshit.”
I: “I have a question. Would you like to keep a child alive” for three days? You can, just by downloading a song. Keeping someone alive should mean more than how you feel about the artist.
T: Make a bet – if in three years they haven’t listened to and liked, you’ll give them $100, but otherwise they’ll give you $100 (or something like that, it was kind of hard to understand). Be proud and confident.
Z: *punch* BOO YA!
I: What artists has Hanson covered songs by: Spencer Davis, Backstreet Boys, or Radiohead?
M: Not Backstreet Boys!
Z: Of course, there’s always the standard “What are you, 20 lbs overweight? 35 lbs overweight?”
T: Laugh right back at them.
Z: Yeah, “point and laugh.”
I: “Mental midget!”
Z: Everyone’s entitled to their own opinion – some people actually voted for Bush/ Al Gore/ whoever. “Are you retarded?”
Around this point, Zac gave the now beautifully decorated scrapbook page to Isaac and Taylor to sign too, and left. Naturally, it wasn’t until then that I mentioned something about this being the best birthday present ever… Oops. Oh well. Even after we’d left the dressing room, Isaac wanted to keep talking about the last question and Taylor had to practically drag him away. They told me to wait there for someone to bring me a photo pass, and then they were gone.
Before…
…and after!
And there I was, standing awkwardly backstage, waiting for some unknown person to bring me a photo pass. Not knowing what else to do, I spent this time looking around, taking in all the details I could – the door covered from floor to ceiling in bumper stickers, the “official-looking” people who kept walking past me, the intense dryness of my throat as the reality of what I’d just done finally began to sink in – until about ten minutes later, when the security guy who’d taken my picture came out. He got me a photo pass sticker, which I proudly stuck to my shirt even though I wouldn’t actually need it until Hanson came on stage. Then I went through the door I’d entered earlier and was back in the venue with everyone else.
About five minutes afterwards, a guy from Music Entertainment Television (METV) came on stage to explain that they would be taping the concert to air sometime in December, and filmed an opening segment of the crowd. It seemed to be a fairly good size, especially compared with the last time I was at La Zona Rosa: the Underneath Acoustic Tour in 2003 when the place was less than half full. A few people were milling around the merch table off to the left of the stage area, or outside getting food from Torchy’s Tacos, or hanging out at the bar in the back of the venue. Although I could sense the excitement rising, especially with the crowd now inside and firmly packed against the stage, I was feeling quite calm, though I couldn’t say why exactly. I met up with Rachel and Tara, the Tulsa and Houston reporters, and we shared experiences until, to my surprise, the lights went out promptly at 8:00. Since when do Hanson concerts EVER start on time?!?
The first opening act, Lee Simmons, was on from 8:00 until about 8:30. He played a six song set, I believe; I lost track when I went outside to get food during the fourth song. I liked him at first, but then the songs kept sounding the same. Then, at approximately 8:30, Ingram Hill came on. My first thought when I came back inside and saw them was, “Whoa, is he not wearing a shirt?” But then I realized that was due to the effect of the pink and purple lighting on his orange shirt. I really enjoyed their set – the music was well written and well played, the changing lights accented the performance nicely, and they had just enough crowd participation to get us ready for Hanson while not tiring us out too much. They played eight songs, I believe, and I noticed when I sat down momentarily during the final song that my pants were vibrating – always a good sign at a concert. Ingram Hill left the stage at 9:15 to enthusiastic cheers from the crowd.
I figured this would be as good a time as any to make my way up to the front and claim my place in front of the barrier, where I would stay for the first three songs once Hanson came out. I slipped through the small gap between the stage and the edge of the barricade, where a security guard glared at me until he saw the photo pass stuck to my shirt. I talked to him and confirmed that I would have to leave after the third song, and that it was okay for me to be up there even though they hadn’t started playing yet. This was perfect for me – I hadn’t seen Monica or the other meet and greeters since I’d left for the interview, because the doors opened while I was backstage and, being front row center, they were swallowed up in a crowd of people when I came back out. I spent the time until Hanson came onstage showing off the masterpiece Zac drew for me (which, I was later informed, was actually Tulsa), sharing a few of my favorite quotes from the interview, taking pictures of my new friends, and feeling weird for being on the opposite side of the barricade from everyone else. It was around this time that I noticed the battery light on my camera was blinking, even though I’d made sure to fully charge it… But thank God for my new friend Whitney, who said that if my battery went dead I could use her camera! At 9:35, there was an attempt to start a chant of “Hanson! Hanson!” but it didn’t last very long. Then I got the brilliant idea to start writing down the set list so I wouldn’t have to do it during the concert, since Taylor’s was sitting right in front of me, but I’d only gotten to the eighth song when the lights went out… And our favorite guys, the reason we were all there, appeared onstage to welcoming screams of delight from the crowd.
I don’t remember much from the first three songs – Great Divide, A Minute Without You, and Been There Before – because I was busy taking as many pictures as humanly possible. I do know that during Been There Before, the girls front row center (my new friends, some from the meet and greet, others who had camped out for thirty six hours!) sang the “rock and roll” part in between the chorus and second verse, and also that Taylor had us sing the “na na na’s” while they sang “When you can’t get through it, you can listen to it.” I tried to lean back or stay on my knees as much as I could; being fairly tall, I didn’t want to obstruct the views of the people behind me. I’m not sure if it was during A Minute Without You or Been There Before, but my camera did run out of batteries, so I hurriedly turned to Whitney, grabbed her camera, and resumed my frantic picture taking. (Thank you!!!) I learned that it is possible to dance while taking pictures, and that it’s easy to get caught up in being so close to the best musicians in the world and forget how many songs they’ve already played. When they started playing Can’t Stop, I didn’t even realize it was the fourth song until my sister told me, at which point the security guard confirmed that, yes, I did need to leave. I made my way toward the left side of the stage and squeezed underneath the METV camera because that’s the only way I could get out. I then tried to get back to Monica as we’d previously planned, but this proved to be impossible. I managed to get close enough to give Whitney her camera back and grab Monica’s hand, but even that was immensely difficult. Anything more was like trying to push through “an impassable brick wall,” as someone in the forums so aptly put it. The moral of this story is: Never try to force your way closer to the front once Hanson is on stage. It’s not possible. Moreover, if people camped out or got a meet and greet and deserve to have a spot in the front, don’t push and crowd and make them so uncomfortable that they end up leaving just so you can be closer, as I know happened in at least one instance. This is their chance; if you’re patient, you’ll eventually have yours. *steps off soapbox*
So anyway, they played Crazy Beautiful next, but I don’t remember much from this song either because I was starting to feel claustrophobic and was more focused on getting out of the crowd as soon as I could than on the music. If I had one regret from the concert, that would’ve been it. Once I was out of there and could breathe again, I found Rachel and Tara, explained what had happened, and stayed with them for the rest of the show. Honestly, I enjoyed the concert so much more than if I’d tried to stay near the front – I had room to dance, I wasn’t squished against a million other people, and I could pay attention to things I may not have noticed otherwise and continue taking notes. I loved how the lights changed colors for different songs, among other random details.
Up next was a Police cover, Hole In My Life. Taylor switched to tambourine for this one, and it was beautifully done. Then it was time for the acoustic portion of the show, consisting of Strong Enough To Break, Go, MMMBop, and A Song To Sing. It was also nice for Zac to not be hidden behind his drums for a while. They let us sing a refrain of MMMBop, which is always fun, and during A Song To Sing I looked over and saw a couple slow dancing, which I thought was really sweet. I wonder how many other people were crying at that point.
Following the acoustic set, they got the crowd’s energy back up with a rousing rendition of Got A Hold On Me, during which I noticed that Taylor had a shaker in one hand and was still playing piano with the other. Awesome! More audience participation was in store next, as Taylor got all of us to be the choir in Blue Sky. The lighting during this song was slightly distracting but still enjoyable – pink stars, flowers, stripes, and polka dots kept flashing across the wall to the right of the stage, directly across the crowd from where I was. Then the lights changed to turquoise and Taylor pulled out his harmonica. If Only! Lots of singing along and jumping up and down were involved. Then they tried to play a trick on us and stopped before the end of the song. Taylor actually walked across the stage, and it looked like he was talking to Zac and Isaac, deciding whether or not to finish the song. They just wanted to keep us waiting. Silly boys. But, as I’m sure was their intention, it just made the end of the song even better.
The next song began with Taylor saying, “We once asked where the love was. I think it’s right here!” Then, to my utter delight, Zac burst out with, “WHERE’S THE LOVE?!?” Think Tulsa, Tokyo, and the Middle of Nowhere. YES!!! Totally one of the highlights of the night. Even more so because we’d actually been talking about that while waiting outside before the meet and greet, and wondering if he could still do it properly with the voice change and all that. Yes. He can. When they got to the bridge and the line, “We gotta change our point of view if we want the sky blue,” the first thing that popped into my head was, “That’s why we’re looking for a blue sky! We’re looking at it from the wrong point of view!” I know, I’m weird.
Next on the set list was Penny & Me, which was beautiful as always. It reminded me of the first time I’d heard the song, in that very venue as a matter of fact, when I couldn’t understand the words and thought they were saying “pretty in pink” but the melody was so gorgeous that it made me cry anyway. Just goes to show what amazing musicians they are! This was followed by Running Man, when I was really glad to not be squished into the crowd – I had room to dance! And now I can say that I’ve done the running man during Running Man. Such an awesome dancing song. This transitioned smoothly into Let Love Rule, a Lenny Kravitz cover. Taylor again picked up his tambourine, and let the music carry him to the edge of the stage. Isaac joined him there later in the song, doing what I can only describe as the “guitar chicken.” I really hope someone else knows what I’m talking about. Near the end of the song, they introduced the other musicians on stage, who I have to say were quite phenomenal.
I almost lost it when I heard the opening notes of Watch Over Me. That song is very close to my heart, having recently struggled with depression, and it meant so much to hear it live. Amazing. I noticed during the next song, Hey, that the crowd seemed to be getting tired (at least from what I could see; I’m sure the energy near the front was as high as ever). Maybe Taylor noticed it too, because he made us yell at the end of the song – him: “And you say…”, us: “HEY!” In any case, it worked. Or maybe the energy picked back up because the next song was Lost Without Each Other, and it’s just not possible to stand still during that song. Especially live. Some people have said that it’s the best Hanson song to experience live, and for good reason. After that, the energy kept building. When Taylor asked, “Do you have that something?” I think everyone in the room forgot they’d ever been tired. Such an amazing song, and the multicolored flashing lights just added to the atmosphere. With the final chord of Something Going Round (which the audience actually finished before they did… how were we supposed to know they’d pause before singing the last word?), Isaac, Taylor, and Zac took their bows and left the stage to tumultuous applause. But we weren’t going anywhere – like any good Hanson fans, we were ready for the encore we knew was coming.
At first, just Isaac came back out. He introduced the song as one written by a fellow Oklahoman and began playing Never Been To Spain, a Three Dog Night cover. I didn’t even notice when Zac and Taylor came back out, I just suddenly realized that they were on stage too. I love the harmonies in that song, and the line “Well I’ve never been to Heaven, but I’ve been to Oklahoma,” seems so appropriate somehow. The final song of the night was Ugly Truth. Taylor kicked this one off in true rock star fashion by climbing on his piano, throwing his tambourine to someone I couldn’t see, getting a tambourine thrown back at him (I couldn’t tell if it was the same one or not), jumping off the piano, and kicking the tambourine in midair. It looked like he was trying to catch it, which would have been awesome, but this way was pretty funny too. As if that weren’t enough, at the end of the song Taylor and Isaac both stood on the drum platform while Zac climbed onto his stool, almost crashed into a cymbal, and only avoided falling because Taylor caught him. Then they all jumped, landing with the final chord of the song.
Isaac, Taylor, and Zac then stood center stage to thank those of us who took the Walk earlier that afternoon and talk more about what they’ve been doing for anyone who hadn’t heard. They emphasized again the amazing power our generation has, and that even though we may think these things don’t apply to us, “newsflash: it IS our problem.” They talked about returning to Africa in November with TOMS and that they’ll be literally putting shoes on kids’ feet, one at a time. To illustrate how much of an impact we’ve already had with the Great Divide shirts and charity single, they told us that the transmission of AIDS from mothers to children in the hospital to which the proceeds are going has been reduced from 40% to 2%. What more proof do we need? Then they grouped around the microphone for a breathtaking a capella rendition of the chorus of Great Divide, bowed, and left the stage for good.
This was, without a doubt, one of the best experiences of my life. Thank you hanson.net for a better birthday present than I ever could have imagined, and thank you Hanson for being who you are. To conclude, “now I’m left here broken heart and blistered feet as you’re spinning round my mind.” Broken heart because the concert is over now and I have to return to the struggles that come with being a Vandy student. Blistered feet from walking a mile barefoot through the streets of downtown Austin and then dancing through the entire two hours and five minutes they were on stage. As they’re spinning round my mind – I’ll never stop reliving the memories from this one unforgettable night. I’m beginning to think that, as Zac said, we might just be “crazy enough to think we can actually change the world,” and these three amazing young men have left me with an intense desire to do exactly that. And who knows? “We could tear the world apart.”
Once upon a time, a baby was born at midnight and her parents got to choose her birthday. The options? October 25th and 26th. The winner? October 26th because it was a Sunday.
Mom with newborn Martha
Then thirty years passed…
And now? We celebrate!
One day I’ll be thirty
One day I’ll be fine
One day I’ll make fun of this dramatic life of mine
(Thank goodness it didn’t take that long. I’ve been laughing at myself for years!)
Change. I like to think I respond to it well. But looking at the biggest “life events” I’ve experienced so far (into and out of college), I’m not sure that’s true.
The summer before senior year, Dad and I visited all the colleges I was considering applying to. I felt an immediate connection with the Vanderbilt campus.
July 2004. My first visit to Vanderbilt.
Fast-forward through the application process and my decision essentially became a no-brainer when Vandy offered me a full-tuition scholarship. But knowing where I was going didn’t necessarily make the transition any easier. I still had no idea what I was in for. Just that everything would change.
June 2005. SAOP (summer academic orientation program) for incoming freshmen.
I couldn’t count the number of times I cried alone in my dorm room. I got frustrated with myself for trying to hold on too much to high school instead of letting myself enjoy college, writing in one journal entry around spring break freshman year, “I hate the person I’m becoming.” (A few months later that turned into, “I love the person You’re helping me become.”)
Vandy was my home, but it took a while to get there. I distinctly remember making a point to say “my dorm” or “my room” freshman year, purposely avoiding calling it “home”. Fast-forward to senior year and a post-graduation journal entry…
Then I stayed up really late packing, taking longer than usual on purpose, cuz I knew that when I finished I’d have to go to sleep, and then I’d wake up, and then I’d have to leave my home. Then of course it was raining while we loaded the car. I was fine the whole time we were bringing stuff down from my room, but as soon as we pulled out of the parking lot, I lost it. Tears running down my face. Who knows how long it’ll be until I have a home again?
The six month period between graduating and getting a job offer (the day before Thanksgiving; talk about something to be thankful for!) was one of the lowest points in my life. I felt like I had no purpose. Like I was forcing myself to exist.
But I got through it. Now I’m happy and comfortable with where I am at this point in my life. Maybe a little too comfortable? I wonder sometimes if I spend too much time on my own, living alone all these years.
Change is never easy. Some changes happen naturally with the passing of time and there’s no choice but to accept them. Other changes present themselves as possibilities and make us choose how we will respond. And sometimes it’s the changes we resist the most that end up being the most wonderful.
That’s why I can’t stay 29. There could be wonderful life-changing possibilities waiting just around the corner at 30. How will I respond?
Monica and I loved to watch Dad play Nintendo when we were little. Everything from Super Mario and Zelda to Tetris. Then we’d watch our babysitters play and tell Dad about the secret shortcuts they used! We discovered a lot of world warps that way…
But I did more than just watch.
I have lots of Nintendo-related memories, but a few stand out in special ways.
I met one of my best friends through dance class and she just happened to live in our neighborhood, close enough that we could ride our bikes to each other’s houses. There was one summer she came over almost every day, and more often than not, we played Nintendo.
Our cousins in Longview had all kinds of gaming systems. Most of our visits involved playing at some point. I never liked the fancier ones as much as the original, but I did enjoy racing games. Monica would always watch and laugh when I lost.
I was playing Super Mario 3 with a “friend” that fateful summer before senior year. We were on the quicksand level in world 2 and down to our last life. I decided to run and jump as fast as I could without stopping just to see what would happen, laughing the entire time. I made it all the way to the black screen at the end of the level, had too much momentum, jumped over the ending block, and landed on the sun on the way down. I was so playfully frustrated that I threw a pillow at the TV. It hit the wires and knocked the controller out of my hands. Which of course made me laugh even harder.
Growing up, we weren’t exactly at the cutting edge of technology. We never had more than one TV in the house. We didn’t get cable or the internet until I was ten or eleven (the first music video I ever saw on MTV was Robyn’s “Do You Know What It Takes”). The only gaming system we had was the original Nintendo. And I liked it that way.
Because sometimes, the best things in life are the simplest ones.
Dad’s slides are very organized. He numbered them all with Sharpie and created a series of spreadsheets including slide number, year, month, category (school, family, vacation, etc.), description, and other useful tidbits.
The description for this particular slide from October 1998 is “The Three Musketeers!” Without even seeing the slide, I knew exactly who would be in it.
Me, Ashley, Anita
The three of us were inseparable in fifth and sixth grade. (To anyone we unintentionally excluded as a result, please consider this a very belated and sincere apology…)
We had nicknames: Mars (me), Thumper (Ashley), Fajita (Anita). We formed a club and had a journal that we passed back and forth and wrote to each other in (I don’t know where it is now or who ended up keeping it, but oh my goodness that would be entertaining to read again!). We had sleepovers for our birthday parties and always watched Titanic and tried to count the bad words. We made up our own words and I wrote them all down in a dishonary (which I do still have!). Some highlights include:
dishonary – what this is
googleflabbit – best friend
kodomafockumasse – thank you
ozztazzerz – I agree
squishy squashy – what you say when you poke someone’s tummy
Speaking of words, we went through a phase where we refused to say certain ones and came up with alternatives: “whatchamacalit” instead of bra, “end punctuation mark” instead of period, “sphere” instead of ball, etc. (And yes, when talking about those things in my journal at the time, I actually wrote down the alternative words.) I even discovered video evidence while digitizing old camcorder tapes: we’re in Longview, my cousin and I are playing with pool balls, Mom asks, “What are you playing with?” and I gleefully reply, “Spheres!” while my cousin groans in exasperation.
I have so many memories with these girls that I wouldn’t trade for anything.
At the end of sixth grade, we graduated from Sacred Heart. Ashley and I still went to the same church, and Anita and I went to the same junior high and high school, but our lives went in different directions.
Senior Mass at St. Albert the Great
LBJ Graduation
I’m not sure anymore when I last saw either of them. I only have a vague idea where they are and what they’re doing now thanks to Facebook. But part of me will always be connected to them.
Ladies, thank you for the memories. I’d love to catch up sometime!
When I was twelve, I really wanted a bunny rabbit. And I did my research! I actually wrote a paper about different breeds of rabbits and how to take care of them, and then I asked my sixth grade teacher if she would grade it so I could use it in my application for the magnet program at Kealing.
I decided on a Netherland Dwarf, partly because little bunnies are cuter and partly because they tend to live longer than bigger bunnies. We found a hutch at a garage sale and Dad spruced it up with stairs, a second level, and a private sleeping area. Then one night Mom and I went down to the animal shelter and I picked out my baby.
I had just started taking Japanese at Kealing and fallen in love with it. And what better name for a cute little bunny than “cute little bunny”? So her full name was かわいい ちいさい うさぎ (Kawaii Chiisai Usagi) and we called her Saki.
Our sheltie, Buddy, wasn’t sure what to make of her at first.
But they quickly became friends.
Saki was with us through my sophomore year at Vandy. I was her primary care-taker at first (she was my bunny, after all), but around junior year when I joined colorguard and my life exploded, I’ll admit that Dad took over quite a bit. And obviously I couldn’t take care of her while I was away at college. No one was even home when she died; it was Family Weekend so they were in Nashville with me. The neighborhood “bunny man” who she’d stayed with many times before called Mom’s cell phone with the news. Monica hugged me, but I wasn’t sad at all.
Saki had been a wonderful bunny and I was ready to move on.
*Disclaimer on the title of this post: bunny rabbits don’t really make me want to cry. It’s a line in “Pulled” from The Addams Family. All my page and blog post titles are lines from musicals.
As we move into the lovely season of autumn, let’s take time to celebrate that wonderful tradition of playing in the leaves!
And who could forget the leaf forts! I loved building forts. I even had a book that taught how to build all different types – sand, snow, blanket, leaf, etc. It’s impossible to ever beat the forts we built for nap time at dance camp (we used ballet bars with various dance shoes to hold the sheets in place) and there’s not a lot of sand or snow around here, so what did that leave? Yup.
The best were the epic one I built in the backyard…
…and the one Monica and I built with our cousins in Longview!
Side note: I’m pretty sure this was also the trip where I forgot to bring shoes. I have never lived that down. (I’d gotten in the habit of carrying my socks and shoes to the car and putting them on on the way to school. On this particular trip, it wasn’t until we stopped at a gas station that I realized I must have forgotten to grab them. I squished my feet into Monica’s shoes so I could run inside, and then once we got to Longview I borrowed a pair from my cousin that actually fit perfectly.)
Other side note: I’m wearing the same shirt in both forts. Completely unplanned. But it was my favorite shirt at the time, so it makes sense. I got it from my best friend for my birthday.
Lying in a hammock next to the ocean is one of the most relaxing feelings in the world.
The weirdest part of snorkeling was jumping off the side of the boat. The hardest part of snorkeling was remembering to breathe through the tube and not through my nose. The coolest part of snorkeling was seeing Dory on the reef (probably not really, but they were bright blue fish that were close enough for me).
I’d noticed a couple standing near me before Isaac’s concert started. Then, while he was playing “More Than Anything,” people started applauding in the middle of the song. I looked around… and saw the guy holding a little black ring box! I’d heard stories about concert proposals before, but this was my first time witnessing one and it happened literally right next to me.
With all the member songs in the mix I knew setlist possibilities were endless, but Taylor wins the prize for playing a song it hadn’t even occurred to me to hope for. A song that was originally leaked online when they were recording demos for Underneath. A song that was later included on a CD of demos when they released their documentary Strong Enough to Break on DVD. A song that resonates profoundly with anyone who has ever struggled with depression. As soon as my brain registered that he was actually playing “Breaktown” I lost it.
I figured this would be as good a time as any to make my way up to the front and claim my place in front of the barrier, where I would stay for the first three songs once Hanson came out. I slipped through the small gap between the stage and the edge of the barricade, where a security guard glared at me until he saw the photo pass stuck to my shirt. I talked to him and confirmed that I would have to leave after the third song, and that it was okay for me to be up there even though they hadn’t started playing yet. This was perfect for me – I hadn’t seen Monica or the other meet and greeters since I’d left for the interview, because the doors opened while I was backstage and, being front row center, they were swallowed up in a crowd of people when I came back out. I spent the time until Hanson came onstage showing off the masterpiece Zac drew for me (which, I was later informed, was actually Tulsa), sharing a few of my favorite quotes from the interview, taking pictures of my new friends, and feeling weird for being on the opposite side of the barricade from everyone else. It was around this time that I noticed the battery light on my camera was blinking, even though I’d made sure to fully charge it… But thank God for my new friend Whitney, who said that if my battery went dead I could use her camera! At 9:35, there was an attempt to start a chant of “Hanson! Hanson!” but it didn’t last very long. Then I got the brilliant idea to start writing down the set list so I wouldn’t have to do it during the concert, since Taylor’s was sitting right in front of me, but I’d only gotten to the eighth song when the lights went out… And our favorite guys, the reason we were all there, appeared onstage to welcoming screams of delight from the crowd.
I decided on a Netherland Dwarf, partly because little bunnies are cuter and partly because they tend to live longer than bigger bunnies. We found a hutch at a garage sale and Dad spruced it up with stairs, a second level, and a private sleeping area. Then one night Mom and I went down to the animal shelter and I picked out my baby.
A Shift In The Light 