Everything changes

So… a “shift in the light” can also mean a shift in the purpose of this blog, right?

I currently have three draft posts (about BroadwayCon, camping, and Grandma’s funeral) plus quite a few other events that definitely merit a post of their own (Hanson Day, my 100th touring or Broadway show, Amy Grant Alaska Cruise meaning I have now been to all 50 states), but for whatever reason I haven’t felt like writing lately. I may still get around to them eventually…

But in the meantime, I have another idea.

Sing every song in the soprano and mezzo volumes of The Singer’s Musical Theatre Anthology.

Twelve volumes (six soprano, six mezzo).

Over four hundred songs.

Basically my only requirement for marking a song “complete” will be to get through it with the recorded accompaniment and post it on Youtube.  But if we want to make things fancy later, I can set up voting so you can choose songs I should work on more.  Maybe you think the song suits me particularly well (or doesn’t suit me at all and want me to take on the challenge) or it’s just a song you’d like to see in a more polished video.  In any case, lots of possibilities.  I haven’t set a timeline for myself yet either, but that could potentially be another way to make this interesting.

Let the madness begin!

Let the world pass by for forever

I wasn’t planning on going back to BroadwayCon this year.  But literally the first face I saw when I clicked on “Special Guests” was Kelli O’Hara.  So not only did I change my mind, I bought a Gold Pass.  (More than double the price, but perks include three guaranteed autograph and photobooth sessions.  If I might have the chance to meet Kelli again, I’m not going to leave it up to the lottery system!)

When the schedule of autograph and photobooth sessions was first released, she was not included.  But then one morning in Jamaica I checked my email when I woke up and found: “The Audience Rewards Autograph and Photograph Area schedule is now complete! … Just yesterday we added sessions with Kelli O’Hara, Carolee Carmello, and Joel Grey!”  Commence squealing with delight and hoping I didn’t wake my roommate up!  (I didn’t.)

So I was all set to meet Kelli again.  YAY!  As far as I was concerned, anything else that happened on the trip would be a bonus.

And three Broadway shows is a fantastic bonus!  Especially when two of them are the most-talked-about new shows on Broadway!  (This post is about those three shows.  BroadwayCon will be in the next post.)

Wednesday. Great Comet was certainly a unique experience.  I knew it would be, considering the theatre layout all but eliminates the barrier between performers and audience.  As the show began unfolding, I sat there thinking, “I’m not sure if I like this…”  Maybe it was the unusual music, or the intense use of strobe lights, or how the characters kept narrating for themselves in both first and third person.  Or all of the above?

Then Denée Benton as Natasha sang “No One Else” and lamps descended from the ceiling all over the theatre like stars and I was enchanted.  And then Josh Groban as Pierre sang “Dust and Ashes” and the lyrics pierced my soul.  When the ensemble lined up across the mezzanine to join in, I was completely swept away.  Am I ready to wake up?

SCENE: IMPERIAL THEATRE STAGE DOOR

(A small crowd has gathered following a performance of Great Comet.  Cheers resound as star JOSH GROBAN emerges.  MARTHA has been a fan for 15 years and has never met him.)

MARTHA: Thank you so much, you were incredible!  “Dust and Ashes” made me cry.

JOSH (genuine and humorously self-depracating): I’m sorry!

MARTHA: No, in a good way!

JOSH: Oh, okay.

(JOSH smiles at MARTHA.  She goes weak and dies a little inside.)

Thursday. The main reason I bought a ticket to Waitress was to see Jessie Mueller sing “She Used To Be Mine.”  And oh boy did it live up to expectations.  (I didn’t cry, but I don’t think I breathed either.)  What I did NOT expect was how hilarious Christopher Fitzgerald was as Ogie!  We’re talking fits of hysterical laughter here.

Audience Rewards set up some exclusive post-show Q&A sessions around BroadwayCon, and one of them just happened to be for this performance!  So I got to attend a Q&A with Caitlin Houlahan, who played Dawn.  I also got to tell her afterwards that I recognized her because I’d seen the tour of Bridges of Madison County in two different cities.

This was the only show that I went into knowing any of the music.  The other song besides “She Used To Be Mine” that I was most looking forward to was Dawn’s “When He Sees Me.”  Because some of those lyrics are basically straight out of my own head but buried so deep I didn’t know they were there.

What if he opens up a door and I can’t close it?  What happens then?

Sunday.  I’d been looking forward to Dear Evan Hansen ever since they promoted it at BroadwayCon last year.  (Plus it’s Pasek and Paul.  Dogfight is some of the most beautiful music I’ve ever heard.)  My anticipation only grew when the Hamilton panelists were asked what current Broadway show they most wanted to see and almost everyone said this one!

The first thing that struck me was the scrolling social media integrated into the set design.  There were times it got so overwhelming I had to physically look away.  (Maybe that’s something we all need to do.  Stop “connecting” and start connecting!)

Knowing only a basic plot summary, I went in fully expecting to cry.  And I did.  The key change in “Waving Through a Window.”  A delayed reaction more than halfway through “You Will Be Found” that sent me into intermission still sobbing.  A gasp at the realization of how Evan broke his arm.  Evan’s speech in the finale (that I really wanted to be on the cast recording but am kind of glad it’s not because it might give things away) that pulled all my triggers so I was still crying by the time I joined the crowd at the stage door.  And lots more, but those are the moments that stood out the most.

I am so thankful that the cast recording was released yesterday.  Please listen to it!  The whole album is just under an hour long, but if you only have time for one or two songs, start with “You Will Be Found” or “Waving Through a Window.”  That will say more than I ever could.

Maybe there’s a reason to believe you’ll be okay

Someday I’ll be part of your world

The Little Mermaid has always held a special place in my heart.  Don’t ask me why, because I’m not entirely sure.  It was my favorite Disney movie growing up.  “Part of Your World” was MY SONG.  I even made up this whole backstory about Ariel’s mom and it became so ingrained in my brain that later I wondered where I’d heard it from.

I had a Little Mermaid outfit that I wore all the time.

My sixth birthday party had a whole Little Mermaid theme.  In addition to drawing mermaid chalk pictures (which I like to think are still there underneath the tile), we played Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Mermaid, Mom made a mermaid cake, and I opened presents on a Little Mermaid sheet that was placed in a corner of the unfinished gameroom.

I loved meeting Ariel on our family vacation to Disney World.  She commented that it looked like I loved water as much as she did (I’d been playing in the fountains outside her grotto).  It also made me super happy that her autograph included a few quickly scribbled fish!

For my final exam in choir freshman year (my first year in choir when I was still terrified to sing in front of people), I ended up singing “Part of Your World” and probably had a little too much fun with props.  I can’t remember now exactly what I used for all the gadgets, gizmos, whos-its, whats-its, thingamabobs, etc., but I know my friendship bracelet collection was involved somehow.

Anyway, all this to say… imagine my excitement upon learning that I’d have the chance to audition for a stage production of The Little Mermaid!

There’s a section of the audition form that asks, “Which parts would you like to be considered for?”  My response went something like, “Ariel (or really any mermaid, I just want to be a mermaid, please let me be a mermaid!)”

I thought my vocal audition on Saturday went well considering I could feel my voice trying to run away.  I felt fantastic about the dance auditions last night and was surprised how few tappers there were (tapping seagulls appear at the beginning of act two).  This afternoon, I was ecstatic to find out I got called back for the mersisters!  I celebrated on Facebook by posting, “YAY my childhood dream of being a mermaid / princess is still alive!!!”  The callbacks were super fun and I thoroughly enjoyed seeing (or hearing about) the impressed looks on the director’s face while we were singing.

And now… we wait.

Watch and you’ll see, someday I’ll be part of your world!

EDIT: I got the role offer email three days later.  I am officially a mermaid and a princess.

Those dancing feet

I don’t know exactly how it started…

My feet have a mind of their own.  They like to kick covers aside and make sure they’re free.  They can get wildly out of control when tickled (which they hate, by the way).  And they get their own Christmas presents.

Which obviously means they have to open the presents themselves.

The first time my feet tried to open a Christmas present, the rest of the family just laughed.  They probably thought my feet were kidding around and would quit partway through.  But my feet are determined.  Once they put their mind to something, they do it.  And they have fun in the process!

So imagine my feet’s excitement when they learned they’d get to tap in the ensemble of 42nd Street this summer!  To put this in perspective: of the previous twenty-one musicals I’d been in, my feet only tapped in two of them.  Most musicals are lucky if they get one tap number.  42nd Street has four.

But it doesn’t stop there.  42nd Street has a total of twelve dance numbers.  And there’s almost as much choreography backstage as onstage.  Of my eleven costume changes, three are quick changes of less than a minute.  Any “down time” during the show is spent either presetting or hanging up costumes.  No other show has left me so exhausted or made my entire body ache all over.  There were even a few rehearsals when I completely broke down in my car and had to wait until I stopped sobbing before I could drive home.

So why do it?  Why bother putting ourselves through all of this?

Because when it works… it’s magical.

Julian: Eyes shining like a kid at Christmas, dreaming of parties and opening nights, the tinsel and glitter of musical comedy.  Just look at yourself–a speck of dust on this stage, indistinguishable from the forty other specks of dust I put there!

Peggy: I know that, Mr. Marsh.  But put all those specks together, you have something alive and beautiful that can reach out to a thousand people we’ve never seen before.

Julian: Broadway dreams, Sawyer!  We’ve all had ’em!

Peggy: Well, I mean to hold on to mine, Mr. Marsh!

Julian: So did I.  Sweet dreams, kid.

Peggy: They are.  I’m a speck of dust in your show.

42nd Street runs through September 25 at the Georgetown Palace Theatre and tickets are available here!

Good night, baby

It’s tech week.  That means late night rehearsals with lots of added elements (lights, makeup, costumes, etc.) making our brains explode before we open on Friday.

This is how I feel right now.

Till then I’ll just get married vicariously

Two years ago today, I caught the bouquet at my cousin’s wedding.

I know that’s “supposed” to mean I’m next, but for a single gal about to turn thirty who has never been in a relationship, that’s kind of hard to believe.

My mom was 25 when she married my dad, so growing up I always assumed that was the normal age to get married and something would just magically happen by then.  Well obviously not.

I had my fair share of crushes over the years: classmates at school, boys I met at summer camp, acquaintances I hardly ever spoke to, the occasional celebrity, etc.  Most of them had no idea.  Of the few who knew, most didn’t feel the same way.  The one exception was Brian, who I met at summer camp the year I didn’t go to Camp Fire Resident Camp.  I was 12, he was 13, and I never saw him again after those two weeks.

Then junior year of high school happened, when I fell head over heels in love with one of my best friends.  Apparently my 17-year-old heart didn’t care that he had a girlfriend who went to another school.  I actually ended up telling him because I thought he needed to know, even though by that point he’d already figured it out months before.  We never “officially” went out, but I did get my first kisses that summer before he left for college.  (And that is the shortest possible version of my personal soap opera.)

There have been a few significant guys since then: friends in the Catholic community in college, castmates in musicals I’ve been in, etc.  (At one point there was a string of like ten shows in a row where I had a crush on someone else in the cast, haha.)  I got asked out on a date and had NO CLUE what I was doing.  I’ve gained a couple of brothers.  I joined catholicmatch.com for awhile and messaged back and forth with a few people, but ultimately I decided I was focusing on the wrong things and I let my subscription expire.

It’s hard to explain, but I believe God has a plan for me and I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be at this moment.  Experience has shown me that I can push myself much farther when other people are counting on me, which feels like the faintest suggestion that God might want me to be married someday so He can really teach me how to love through a husband and family.  On the other hand, I’m at peace with the fact that I might never marry.  Either way, it’s impossible to tell what the future holds.

Anyway, back to catching that bouquet…

A little less than a month afterwards, I was cast in Shrek the Musical as Mama Shrek / Tapping Rat / Ensemble.

As one of my roles in the ensemble, I got to wear a wedding dress.

And that’s enough for now.

The memory floods in

Yesterday was DCI day!

On a Saturday in late July, the best drum corps in the country come together in San Antonio to compete in the DCI Southwestern Championship.  I got pulled into that world thanks to my years in colorguard and fell in love with it (I actually auditioned for Teal Sound in 2005 but ultimately decided not to march because it was my last summer at home before college).  Seeing all the different corps makes me super happy, but there’s something about this particular event that makes it even more special.  I get to watch all these amazing people and think…

“I marched on that field.”

Every time we turn onto 37 and I see the Alamodome rising in the distance, I’m instantly transported back in time to November 2003.  (Yesterday I even got a little teary.)  Junior year of high school, my first year in colorguard, and we made it all the way to the state marching band competition.

Swing flags at the end of “Bolero” (I’m in the middle of the loop)

I wrote so extensively about these events in my journal at the time that I don’t really have much else to say.

November 4, 2003

I will always remember today.

As we drove away last night, I turned around and stared at the Alamodome until it faded from sight, thinking, “Goodbye until next time.  Thanks for the memories.”

I see a trophy held by me

Baton twirling contests were a huge part of my childhood.  My first one was December 3, 1994, only two days after my eye surgery (I had built-in red eyeshadow)!  My last one was eleven years ago yesterday.

Events included Basic Strut (32 counts of marching in a square), Parade Majorette (32 counts of twirling while marching in a square), Presentation (32 counts of twirling), Solo (a minute and a half of twirling), etc. and the music for all of them is permanently etched in my brain.  I started off just competing in Basic Strut, gradually adding more events over the years until I was competing in almost everything.  There was also the option of “ratings” where you could do routines for judges’ feedback without actually competing.

The trophy in the middle is one of my favorites.  Novice Basic Strut, January 1995.  My first first-place!  The other smaller ones are ratings trophies.

Competition groups were determined by event, level, and age group.  Level was determined by number of first place wins in that particular event.  Over ten years I had a total of 34 wins, qualifying me as advanced in one event (10+ wins), intermediate in two events (5+ wins), and beginner in four events (1+ wins).  Hooray!

There was generally one contest a month from December through July, and at two contests per year (“State” in May or June and “Nationals” in July) the winner in each group went on to compete against the winners in other age groups for a Grand Champion.  I wanted one so badly, but I didn’t get many chances to try because I didn’t win very often…

Then there was the time Monica and I competed together in Pairs.  I was ten and Monica was twelve, so we were actually around the same height haha.  Three pairs competed at State in May 1997, all in the same level and age group.  And WE WON!  We happily collected our first place trophies, not expecting anything more than that since there weren’t any other age groups… so it was with surprise and delight that we were also presented with a Grand Champion trophy!  We got another one at Nationals in July when we were the only pair to compete.

Eight years later as a senior in high school, those were still my only two Grand Champions and I was running out of time.  I won Basic Strut at State that year and figured it was my last shot at my very own Grand Champion… but it went to the winner two age groups below me (a friend from the same dance studio so I was super happy for her, while feeling devastated for myself).

Two months left until my absolute last chance.  I made an extra effort to practice on a regular basis before Nationals, waking up earlier than I normally would during summer so I could work on my more challenging tricks before it got too hot outside.  I entered events in multiple levels to give myself more chances (something I did occasionally anyway, but I really went all-out this time).

Beginner Parade Majorette.  There were two of us.  I dropped the cartwheel (my hardest trick) and she won.  Intermediate Parade Majorette.  There were three of us, including the girl who’d won beginner.  I CAUGHT EVERYTHING and I won!  Then I went on to try for the Grand Champion, competing against the same friend who’d beaten me for the Basic Strut Grand Champion at State.  I dropped a waist wrap (something stupid that I hardly ever dropped) and figured that was it…

BUT I WON!!!

Literally my last chance to win a Grand Champion, and I did it.

What a fabulous trophy to complete my collection from those ten years.

Hundreds of stories

A typical sight on our annual summer family vacations.  Cooking on the camp stove with our tent in the background.

I was super happy to discover this picture in the boxes of slides I’ve been scanning, because some of my favorite memories from family vacations are actually from the campsites.  Specifically, in the tent at bedtime.  When Dad would tell stories.  That he made up as he went along.  And they were freaking hysterical.

I can’t tell you when any of the specific stories were told, or where we were.  I only recall a few titles, and I don’t remember any plot details.  But to this day, they still appear in conversations occasionally.  And we always recognize them when they do.

“The Finkles and the Farkles”

“The Amoeba and the Protozoa”

And the goat that said, “Pppppbbbbbbttttt” (how do you spell a sound???)

---

Then there was one night when I wanted to contribute.  Amy Grant was my favorite singer at the time, so I sang “El Shaddai” for my family.  Including all the Hebrew lyrics.  And a moment of silence before the second verse, while I played the instrumental bridge in my head (I made sure to tell them that’s what I was doing so they wouldn’t think I was finished).  I was around 7 or 8, and still terrified of singing by myself in front of people.  But I guess I just decided that being a part of the family nighttime experience was more important.  Like one of my favorite movies says:

Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgement that something else is more important than fear

Of course, lying in a dark tent in our sleeping bags when I couldn’t actually see anyone helped too!

All you really have to do is shine

It’s dance recital season, so…

Flashback to our first dance recital!  (May 1992.  Monica is seven.  I’m five.)

All I remember from the dress rehearsal is that I was super nervous and my bow tie was crooked.  When I recently found the tapes with old rehearsal videos Dad recorded (I look terrified), Mom said I was fine but then Monica kept talking about how nervous she was so I decided I was too…

At the recital, on the other hand, I wasn’t nervous at all.  It was so much FUN!  And the first thing I said when I got offstage was that I wanted to take more classes the next year just so I could be in more recital dances.

The rest is history!